Uptight & Personal Diary Entry March 8th

11 03 2010

Monday 8th

Cold. Matt and I have our coats on in the office reinforcing our belief that we are consigned to the workhouse. Wendy is quick to disabuse us of this notion. Melrose is NOT the workhouse. If we were in the workhouse we would get gruel. We do not get gruel let alone Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel (nine out of ten orphans can’t tell the difference). I stand corrected.

Tuesday 9th

Bored. Tell Sam I am bored so he emails me this link to this game online – Flow. Flow VERY addictive. Also see Flow is available on the PS3 network. Flow could be my downfall.


Get out at 4.30 and head to Cambridge to meet Aurore and Imelda at CB2. http://www.cb2bistro.com We are all in need of a big catch up. Two bottles of Pinio Grigio blush are consumed along with spicy chips and fish cakes.

Aurore still indentured to slave masters at Primark which is a bit like being indentured to slave masters at Melrose except with a disposable fashion option (no staff discounts at Primark – they must have based their zero-perks business model on the Melrose one).

Wednesday 10th

Two bottles of Pinio Grigio blush the night before translates into a visit to the snack truck for a bacon bap.

Prospective author has discovered damning blog entry (not mine!) about Melrose and has decided not to proceed.


Now very concerned that sooner or later I will get written about in a similar vein as Austin.

‘The staff at Melrose are on the surface pretty nice people. Austin, the so-called comissioning editor, is a laid back Irishman who spends his days dreaming about being a rock star. I went to one of his band’s gigs and must say that he is not a bad vocalist. As far as his role in Melrose goes it is a joke in very bad taste and once I saw what I’d been roped into I realised Austin had lied to me several times during our two meetings.’

They will say I spend my days dreaming about being a Hollywood screenwriter and shagging men like Zac Quinto (they would be right). Oh God.

Bored. Do not go to lunch but play Flow instead.

Break and then email Sam that I have gone an entire 46 minutes without playing Flow. When Jill departs at 4.30 return to Flow until Wendy gives me a lift to Tesco’s. Flow is now set to be my downfall. I blame Sam.

Spend my evening tidying up my bedroom. The floor is awash with three pairs of boots, sweaters, knickers of various vintages, two varieties of hair straighteners and a hair dryer, handbags that I have forgotten I owned, dirty socks, discarded towels and two pairs of brand new shoes still in their boxes along with dust bunnies, hair brushes and various books. This takes all evening but by the end I can actually see the rug and the floor for the first time in around three weeks. Go to bed pleased but feeling I have forgotten something.

Thursday 11th

Wake up at 4am remembering that I forgot to eat supper. As a result my body will not oblige and the visit to the hospital for tests is postponed. Never since I was in nappies have my bodily functions attracted so much interest. But then while other mortals collect stamps or Star Wars poseable figures, the medical profession likes to collect samples of wees and poos. Before I moved to Oz I had a friend who was a GP in Swiss Cottage. We’d arranged to go out to dinner one night and he told me to come around to the surgery at the end of his shift and we’d go from there. With the last patient out the door he suggested that while we were waiting for his partner to arrive we might like a drink and something to eat and told me that there was a bottle of wine and some pate in the practice fridge and perhaps I wouldn’t mind fetching it. Upon opening the fridge I did indeed discover a bottle of white and a slice of pate – nestling amongst the stool and urine samples. Needless to say, the desire for an aperitif left me at that point.

Visit to hospital postponed until Friday.

Discover fabulous shoe storage wheel on Amazon. I have to have one.





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